I am going to go on another little rant. To be honest, I am having a really hard time emotionally, so this is how I am getting some of the crap that I hold onto off my chest. This is only a small piece and nowhere near the mess I have stockpiled in my brain and spirit.. but itβs a start.
ππ¨π¦π§ πππππ¨π¦π π§πππ§ ππ¦ ππ’πͺ π¬π’π¨ πͺππ₯π π₯πππ¦ππ ππ’ππ¦ π‘π’π§ π πππ ππ§ π₯ππππ§!
I am sick and tired, and frankly disturbed by hearing parents say, βThatβs how I was raisedβ when they, in my opinion; discipline a child inappropriately. No, it NOT okay for you to smack your child upside the head because she dropped her plate and broke it, just because thatβs what your dad did to you when you were a kid. Seriously, think about it for a minute; that is totally FUCKED UP! It is not okay to send your child to bed without dinner merely because they did not clean their room. Find a new punishment that fits the misbehavior, like take the crap away that they are refusing to put away and make them earn it back. If a child will not eat what is put in front of them, okay I get it but then the punishment fits the crime. ππ’π΅πͺπ―π¨ πͺπ΄ π―π°π΅ π’ π±π³πͺπ·πͺππ¦π¨π¦; πͺπ΅ πͺπ΄ π’ π―π¦π¦π₯!
When I was young, my dad put a knife to me because I dropped a pea off the fork I was eating with and it rolled into the floor, and he told me if I dropped another one, he would cut my heart out. Another time, I was 5 minutes late getting home from somewhere and when I walked through the door, he had a gun pointed at my head. One time my grandmother backhanded me with her big diamond engagement ring and split my lip open because she THOUGHT I called her a disrespectful nameβ¦ she told me to get inside the house and I said, βokay fineβ, or something along those lines. Yes, I had an attitude, but she heard something else and wham before I knew it I was slapped and had a split lip. There are more instances, but it doesnβt matter; you should get the point. ππ¦πΊ, π πΈπ’π΄ π³π’πͺπ΄π¦π₯ π΅π©πͺπ΄ πΈπ’πΊ!! Should I have raised my children that way because it was how I was raised? If you think yes, then please remove yourself from my blog and my life.
I also made mistakes as a parent; I admit to these mistakes. They were not abusive mistakes as I mentioned above, but they were neglectful mistakes. I jumped in and did things for my children rather than teaching them to do things for themselves. I did not teach them the value of defending themselves, or self-advocating, I let them keep their room how they wanted it, because it was their personal space after-all. I had adult kids who struggled to maintain an orderly space in all they do. They are learning to be better but if I had done my job as a parent correctly, it would have been second nature. I would not have adult kids who get anxious defending themselves or even making phone calls. I hope that my children will not raise their children, how they were raised!
We as parents need to teach out children and their mistakes are learning experiences. Do not punish them for trivial mistakes or accidents, teach them how it could have been prevented. Make them clean up their mess if they dropped their plate, teach them how to do it without hurting themselves, teach them how they might avoid that accident next time. So, think about how you were raised. Talk to other people about it. Is it genuinely how you want to treat and raise your kids? If you were raised well, without abuse, with parents who taught things to you rather than only instilling fear of consequences. It’s okay to fear the consequences of actions if you are first taught why the actions were wrong.. it is NOT okay to fear the parent!
Candlelight & Bubblebaths 